The Domain of Steven

This is the entry where I get to be both open and cryptic. Reflections come later, after I’ve got my video game fix. It might take a while, but you can be sure that it’ll come. Let’s get started.

• The cerebellum, the part of the brain which controls movement, is located at the back of the brain. It should be accessible should someone try to work something under the back of the skull. This may be a more effective way of disabling somebody, unless you can sever the spinal cord high up the spine (remember that even after puncturing the heart, people still have blood flowing through their system).

• The slow dances had yet another meaning, but reverted back to the old one by the end.
• Fudge is godly.
• Giving five pounds of gummy bears as a gift should be considered godly, too.
• We were the most medicated hall on campus.
• I survived Blammo and all I got was this stupid spoon.
• And two kills.
• Passion fruit mixed with the saliva of at least 6 people isn’t so bad.

Remember, my lovable host is giving me more space and bandwidth than I could have ever dreamed of, so allow me to put some of it to use by sending me pictures!

“I’m Steven ‘Jet Li’ Li, and I’ve got one year of baby CTY and four years of Lancaster love under my belt. I honestly thought it would be hard leaving CTY after being here so long, but like my body’s done to this FREEZING COLD (Sensory Adaptation for those in Cognitive Psychology), I’ve gotten used to and eventually learned to deal with the pain. Because really, I’d rather not spend my time lamenting its loss, but instead, spend my time reliving the great times I’ve had and talking with the great people I’ve met.

And on a lighter note, I’d like to thank the cafeteria for running out of disposable forks this year. It’s taught me that two blunt knives can actually be used more efficiently than chopsticks! I love the passionfruit.”

And so, chopknives were born.

On the left I’ve added a rudimentary site map, because there’s actually another page you can visit. I’ve taken my 2003 pictures from their previous resting place and added them here. Should anyone acquire pictures or videos, send them to me and I’ll get them up ASAP, or you can create an account to upload and title them yourself. I’d prefer that pictures be 640×480, and that any video clips not exceed 4 megs.

Total targets received: Sarah C., Nina D., Erik Y.
Total targets Blammo’ed: Sarah C., Nina D.

Sarah C.
Stalked for a number of days, including double Acting Improv sessions (partially because it meant more time she might drop her spoon, partially because it was so damn fun). Couldn’t find a time to Blammo her until the second to last dance. Unbeknownst to me, dances were off limits, which I found out after I had Blammo’ed her and reported to Will (the game coordinator). Apologized, gave a day’s grace period (as she had dumped her spoon, also not knowing dances were off limits), Blammo’ed her on the way to the ASFC for dinner on Monday.

Nina D.
Nina was in my class, and was the only one aside from myself to still be a part of the game (four others were knocked off). Nina would rarely let go of her spoon during the time I stalked her, though she would be lax with it when I wasn’t stalking her (before I had Blammo’ed Sarah). Tried to Blammo her after class one night, but she had her hand in her bag when the hit went through, and the hand quickly came out with her spoon. One or two days afterwards, I noticed that she didn’t keep her spoon on hand during class (it was in her bag next to her), so I kept an eye on the clock for the beginning of break. When it was called, I sprinted over to her (2-3 steps) and Blammo’ed her before she made a move to her bag.

Erik Y.
Originally thought that Erik never had his spoon, but after continuous stalking, discovered that he actually broke his spoon into smaller pieces (intentionally or not) and could conceal the pieces in his hand. As it was late in the session, there wasn’t enough time to find him without his spoon shards, so the game ended with him as my target.

Total stalkers received: David L., Lauren H., ?

David H.
Discovered at the first legal Blammo period: afternoon break. I used a method of palming the head of the spoon (as you would do with a coin) so that my hand concealed the head and my arm concealed the handle. It was difficult to notice unless you studied me for a while and noticed the stiffness of my arm (I have a wrist, but the spoon doesn’t [and I didn't want to break it]), or you looked at my arm from behind (though I could rotate my arm to counteract that).

When break started I used this method in conjunction with crossing my arms, so the spoon couldn’t be seen. After a minute, David came over and Blammo’ed me, to which I responded by uncrossing my arms and revealing my spoon, to which he responded with a small curse. No further Blammo attempts were made.

Lauren H.
I came early to class (”just because”), and sat down for five minutes, using the same method as above but concealing it against my thigh. Jess, Nina, and Lauren came and waited with me outside the class, but after about ten seconds of arriving, Lauren Blammo’ed me. No cursing when I revealed my spoon, but unlike David, she was very persistent in trying to Blammo me, going to such great lengths as to use playful violence.

Eventually, she stopped carrying around her spoon as her stalker was lax in stalking. This eventually led to her being Blammo’ed.

?
No misBlammos were made from Lauren’s stalker against me, and I wasn’t perceptive enough to notice anyone stalking me. Forever a mystery (or until Lauren reads this and tells me who Blammo’ed her).
Edit: Apparently not even perceptive enough to pick up the fact that Kate K. was my stalker, after posting a comment on a previous entry.

With various contributions, there’s over 150 files in the Coppermine gallery. I haven’t even used a tenth of my webspace yet, so if you have something to contribute…contribute!

That being said, Will Colmer compiled a Snapfish gallery of his 2004 photos, all 180 of them. Go look at them! If you’re nervous about making an account (spam is bad), I refer you to an excellent site called BugMeNot. Various people contribute account information for websites, so you don’t have to register yourself; just check BugMeNot to see if someone donated an account.

Alternatively, register an account using Mailinator. There’s no real email account creation; any mail sent to a @mailinator.com address is stored and can be checked by anybody-no password required. On the flip side, there’s no attachment to the mailbox-if you think of a crazy address, you can be confident that no one will reach your mail before you do. It’s like a fast, disposable mail account.

gal·lant
adj.

1. The medieval system, principles, and customs of knighthood.
2.
____1. The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.
____2. A manifestation of any of these qualities.
3. A group of knights or gallant gentlemen.

In the nature versus nurture argument, I’m all for nurture. Despite twins often adopting the same mannerisms or preferences even when they’re raised separately, behavioral conditioning tests were very persuasive in convincing me that one’s environment has a lot to do with one’s personality. Therefore, everything that’s unique about us must have come from something that occured during our upbringing. If that’s so, what event caused me to be so attracted to being chivalrous and gallant?

I’ve an odd fascination with certain odd things: the twirl of a cloak, the overexaggerated bow, the flourish of a hat-these are all things you’d expect a medieval suitor to do. Being honorable in all matters, being courteous to women, having a steadfast devotion to one’s friends-these are all things you’d expect a medieval suitor to do. You could even extend this to day that these are things you’d expect a knight to do, but certainly not a small Asian male.

It’s not like I was raised with a lot of medieval material around me. I was enamored with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but they’re not exactly chivalrous when scarfing down pizza. There were no vivid memories of traumatic experiences, though certainly my entire upbringing could count as an experience. I was always told to be polite to people, but my parents never said that this should be doubly true for females.

And yet somehow, this is doubly true for females. I would and have sacrificed my umbrella to the opposite gender when it was raining and we couldn’t all fit (though I recall we once got four people sheltered under one umbrella). Would I have done the same for a male? Shared it, perhaps, but I would not have traded places with any other males left in the rain. I love the rain, it’s true, but only when I’m not going to get a cold because of it.

I could see how this preferential treatment could be considered sexist and discriminatory, but it’s not because I think less of either race. I don’t think that women are weaker than men, or that men are stronger than women. I do believe that women are not always shown the respect that they deserve, and it makes me want to compensate. Perhaps if we lived in a more female-dominated world, then my role would be reversed.

But the fact remains that we don’t live in a world where there’s a feminist on every block. In fact, I’m not sure what kind of world we live in at all. Things change so fast and so often, that sometimes I feel as if I’m outdated. Perhaps if I was born a few decades earlier, then I would’ve thrived. As it stands, a lot of the ideals I once had were shot down. People lie and cheat daily, undermining friends and family, all for profit or to satiate the fires of hatred. Marriage is no longer a sacred union, couples and children are sometimes made because of money and power, and the act of slow dancing, so obviously a creation of love, is so often done without it.

I was disillusioned years ago, but that didn’t make me stop acting with courteousness and gallantry. I can’t say that the truth made me want to be noble even more, because it actually made me feel alienated. There would be an awkwardness when I did something extraordinarily nice for someone, possibly because it never happened that often to them before. Perhaps that’s what gave me the “nice guy aura” that I sometimes mention. People seem to know that I’ll help them; I couldn’t refuse even if it means sacrificing something of my own. In a place like Honors Drafting class, a difficult class that I managed to stay on top of, it means that that help is requested very often, whether or not they realize that I’m spending more time helping people than working on my own project.

Perhaps that’s why I held onto her for so long. I was chivalrous with her and she knew it, embracing it and appreciating me for it. Appreciation was something that my CTY friends have been able to give to me in bundles, but never to the extent that she did, because that would’ve required a lot of free love and polygamy going on. I was tired of having my efforts go unnoticed because the instances were too spread out. I could be courteous to twenty people once a day, but if I was with her, I would be courteous to one person twenty times a day. I guess it was such a new feeling that I enjoyed so much that I wanted to preserve it.

I was disappointed when it was called off, but not to the point that I needed happy pills. It was a wonderful experience, and I’m glad that I got to see what it was like if only for a short time. I actually feel I’ve come out better for it, because in all honesty it could have gone a lot worse. Yet another affiliation presented itself to me, and with the handicap now in my favor, I’m debating about my course of action. I found myself in a debate where the representatives of Steven’s feelings weren’t at the table, and the only matter being discussed was how the opposite party would respond. Although it’s very selfless and noble to not consider one’s disposition regarding a matter, this matter was such that both parties needed to reach a high mutual agreement; without one, the results would be unsatisfactory. That conclusion would be one formed from the Pit Y., whose demons I’ve long feared. It’s possible that in this case I would assume the role of Painkiller’s Lucifer.

I’m going to try and avoid that, even if it means that I have to eschew the confrere. I don’t want to cause the very thing that made me so reserved.

An AIM conversation isn’t the ideal way to get a point across, especially if you weren’t involved in the conversation, but it seemed too difficult a task to try and put the ideas into an actual essay.

This post is a follow-up to my last post, “Of Knights and Love“.

Adding onto what I previously had…

• “There’s nothing to it. I take a sort of medical ice pick, bop it through the bones just above the eyeball, push it up into the brain, swiggle it around, cut the brain fibers, and that’s it. The patient doesn’t feel a thing.”

• “What you see is what I’ve got, and what I’ve got is for sale. That’s why my snacks are on the shelves, and I’m wearing pants.” -Me
• “I raise you all in.”
• “Steve knows what I’m talking about!”

To tide you over ’till tomorrow’s tentative Musings post, read one of Penny Arcade’s recent comic strips. Seriously, I couldn’t stop laughing for a whole day.

And if I’ve been quiet during our AIM conversations (even more so than usual), it’s because I’ve been playing Yohoho! Puzzle Pirates. Yep, my mom had the same reaction to the name. But I can deal with small doses of humiliation when I get a character who looks like this:

All I need is to get a feathered hat, and I’m set.

I’ve always had trouble giving an answer when people ask what religion I am. My parents were neutral on the issue; they brought me to annual ancestor worship sessions, and would have Chinese burials when someone died, but they never forced a religion onto me. I was, for the most part, free to develop on my own. The problem is that even though I’ve been a thinker for quite some time, I haven’t really drawn any conclusions yet. At first, I declared myself to be atheist, but when someone asked me why I didn’t believe there was a god, I told them that there isn’t enough proof to say that one exists. That person then replied that I was agnostic, not atheist, and I stuck with that for a while.

Yet I’ve always had a feeling that a god might actually exist, which is acceptable given my agnosticism. Though there have always been things I’ve wanted, I feel as if I’ve lead a great life so far, filled with wonderful things happening my way. It might have been my parents who implanted in me the notion that if I did good deeds, I would be on the receiving end of good deeds later on. Whether it was blind faith in my parents or something else, that mantra stuck, and I became a “nice guy”. Whether is was pure luck or divine intervention, good things happened to me, and the life rule was made permanent.

I can’t say I’ve ever felt truly hurt, because I have everything I need. I’ve got two parents who love me, a little brother who I love, a house, a family, a decent amount of money, and my strange outlook on life. Things have worked out so well, that I feel a bit of that teenage immortality. I have enough sense to know that my life won’t be perfect, but that good things are in my future. All my life experiences so far have pointed towards that, and it’s an extremely comforting thought.

When that thought comes to my mind though, I simultaneously think of the people who aren’t in such a cozy position. Are the people who are starving or homeless less deserving than me? What exactly caused fate to deal a worse hand to them? I could never get an answer, which worried me a great deal. I was granted such a great life, and to squander that gift would be like biting the hand that fed me. I doubt it was one of those movie-esque scenes with the ceremonious music playing in the background, but I vowed to pay back fate for its kindness by giving out kindness myself whenever possible. I know that some say life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t keep me from trying to make it fair.

So to most people, I became a good samaritan, though my actions always had the same selfish motive behind them: pay back fate for your good life, and make a deposit for future good events. This has been so deeply ingrained in my mind that unless everyone I know and who knows me spontaenously dies, I’ll keep believing that. I may still be undecided on whether a god is in control of fate, but I’ll still be fatalistic. Or rather, I believe in an offshoot of fatalism, one in which I believe that my future is always changing, and the specifics aren’t in my control, but the overall direction of my future is determined by myself and my actions.

Notice how I didn’t say “your”, but I said “my”. I couldn’t explain why nice people in bad families sometimes remained there, so at the risk of sounding elitist, I declared myself an exception to the general rule that things aren’t fair. It’s a copout, but can you think of a more appropriate answer? Seriously, I dare you. Nice people help everyone out, whether the recipient has good or bad motives, so in everyone’s perspective, nice people are a benefit to society.

On second thought, perhaps life is fair, and the nice people in bad families (NPIBF from now on) are the exceptions. It’s not a nice thought, because we all think that our niceness should be rewarded, but again, I challenge you to think of an appropriate answer. So before you lower me a couple notches because of my explanation, note that I actually have an explanation. When you come up with a better one, then you can go about thinking that I’m elitist.

That’s about as close as most of you will ever see me getting mad. It’s usually when there’s an injustice, and not in the sense that NPIBF are being wronged. I get frustrated when people don’t get the respect they deserve, when they don’t apply the same standards to themselves as they do to others, and when they make rash and stubborn decisions. I get mad when these things are done in excess, and I’m powerless to stop it. I rarely hate people, but these are definite ways to add another name to that list.

Perhaps the key to those being triggers is that I often am powerless to stop it. When you steal credit from someone, you do so knowingly, and judging someone by different standards or making rash and stubborn decisions are things done in the heat of the moment, where reason is overwhelmed by the sense of “I’m right; you’re not”. Only the other person can end that rage, and sometimes it never dies, in which case I’m left with a sense of remorse. I feel as if I’ve left a job undone, with the possibility that it can never be done.

I answered 179 questions, and all I got was this stupid survey.

After a couple mentions on the Lifelesspeople board, I decided to look into WordPress. And, as you’ve no doubt noticed, I’ve defected over from Movable Type to WordPress. Sorry Yolanda, but I doubt I’m coming back. I found some nice stylesheets, I like the interface, TrackBack actually works, better category system…

It was easy getting everything installed, but a hassle getting everything working. There was a conflict with the url being used for the generated pages, so I ended up putting the WP files in the root directory instead of in its own folder. I can’t count the number of times I deleted and remade the MySQL directories to start fresh…

So the address is the same, but hopefully the quality of the blog will be better. I’m a bit tired, because I’ve also been fooling around with the MP3 player that arrived today (way ahead of schedule), and I tend to get wrapped up in what I do. Thank god it’s the weekend…expect a post tomorrow.

Sheer utter hotness is the only phrase that can be used to describe this site right now. Through liberal use of hacks, plugins and template modifications, I’ve made Wordpress to have everything I’ve wanted in a blogging system, and then some.

Thanks to a fellow poster on the Lifelesspeople forum, I was able to obtain a Gmail account. All I had to do was write up a small dissertation about why I wanted the account, and prayed that the donator would select me (which he did). So I switched from thelonehwguy@yahoo.com to SarcasticEccentric@Gmail.com , which seems a bit more stylish and humorous, despite the obscene number of c’s in the address.

I was typing up a post at work, but it seemed too straightforward, didn’t follow a winding track, and was too obvious, all of these things that would not mesh well with the other musings on the site. So it’s out the window, and hopefully I’ll have something more interesting for you soon.

Edit: Anway, Gmail is hotness. I’m monitoring my Yahoo account because I’m sure some mail will go there that I want at my Gmail account, but I’ve for the most part moved over. I sent out the mass emails notifying everyone I ever knew of the switch, leading to 22 "What the fuck were you thinking? There’s no such email address!" returned emails. Can’t blame me for trying.

I’ve noticed a number of times that my social situation in CTY was the complete opposite of my position in school, or the rest of my life, for that matter. Outside CTY, I wasn’t unpopular, but I wasn’t exactly popular either. I had acquaintences in most of my classes, but no steady group of strong friends. Perhaps one of the most startling differences was that at school, most of my friends were guys, while at CTY, most of my friends were girls. I lived with a whole hall full of guys, each year being fairly good friends with some of them, but my main social group was heavily composed of females.

I entertained the notion that this was a purely hormonal bias; I’m a heterosexual male, and hanging out with females would be preferable to hanging out with guys. Yet at the same time, so many guys I know that are equally or more hormonally driven than myself hang out with guys most of the time. I somehow doubt that the majority of those guys are homosexual, and also doubt that the majority of those guys are attached. If that’s the case, why do they prefer to befriend one gender, while I preferred befriending the other?

I then started thinking about the people in those groups. I can’t say what motivated other people to create single-gendered groups, but at school, they were formed out of a common loneliness. The shy people stuck together, and became not so shy in the process. I don’t see any of them outside of school, but that may be because I don’t need their companionship outside of school. When I’m not in school, I have a larger group of friends, as I suspect they do too. I also have other things to occupy myself with, as I suspect they do too.

Yet at CTY, things seem to change. There’s still a sense of loneliness in your squirrel year, which is what causes people to form friendships with their hall. Being that their halls are single-gendered, they cling onto those friends, and perhaps add a couple new ones that are found in class or through the other half of the hall. As time goes on, you develop stronger bonds with those friends, and next year, the friends that you kept introduce you to new friends, ideally with you ending up as a nomore with a whole menagerie of friends.

The socially lazy person I am, I skipped that squirrel year step. I found reading books to be easier than making friends, and as such I spent more time reading books than Ann did. I read during meals, I read during break, I read during the dances, for gods sake! I loitered at the dance for one evening, and barring the final American Pie, spent the rest of the dances in my room reading a book. While that’s a testament to the power of literature, it was also a testament to my social laziness: the reluctance to make an effort to put oneself in or to maintain a social confrontation (I made up the phrase myself, but unbeknownst to me, someone else did it too).

That said, I’m not sure what would’ve happened if she hadn’t stepped in. Despite having supposedly anti-social moods, I’ve never seen her in one, though perhaps that’s because I couldn’t be in her dorm. She acted as a hub, and a very good one; she would seem to naturally draw in people, which made my social life a lot easier. Some might say that having a whole group of other people would dampen one’s friendship, but I ended up liking everyone she attracted. Interestingly, none of those people were hubs themselves, so perhaps hubs only attract shier and socially lazier people.

Yet hubs seem to diffuse a genial warmth that makes people around them open up. Perhaps that warmth is the prerequisite to be a hub, not the benefit that comes along with the position. Perhaps the shier people feel more comfortable talking with the hubs, and therefore develop the bonds of friendship faster. The hubs are able to start up conversation and because of the warmth, invite responses more effectively than other people can, removing awkward situations and presenting the solution for socially lazy people.

So after my squirrel year of CTY, I hung out with a hub, and either the hub or myself attracted another hub. The first hub wasn’t there the year after, so I hung out with that second hub. As that hub drifted away from me and the first one returned, I went and hung out with the first hub. All this hub bouncing was done while keeping in contact with both hubs, and because of all the hubness going around, I was able to meet some great people without straining my social willpower reserve too far. I might not have realized it at the time, but because of the hubs, I was able to fully enjoy my time at CTY, and continue enjoying the friendships that have formed because of them. This is my formal thank-you. I owe everything to you.

And now for something completely different…

Proof that creating strange, longwinded works of literature is my specialty. After seeing the notable swap listings, I wanted to see if my creativity and ability to fluff up a computer programming job could net me an invite, and it sure did. I had an account, but I was able to get accounts for my brother and cousin as well.

I didn’t forget about your invites, Kate, but I wanted to test my skills, was bored at work, and think of it this way: there’s lots of cool stuff on that list you could get yourself! It’s best if you check the list when it’s not prime time; you get a bit more time to get that first post in.

Edit: I actually didn’t intend for the listing to be shaped the way it did. I wanted it to follow in the fashion of the first paragraph, and put in Timmy as a one-shot joke. Then I felt that the joke could be followed up, and oddly enough, once I left the game description, I thought that it would actually be a pretty original post if I kept it up. And originality is definitely what people are looking for on that board. It worked out like a lot of my other writing; I just went with what seemed like a good idea at the time (less editing for this one though).

Today’s subway trip was even more eventful than usual.

First event

Second event

Edit: Ask, and (for a small fee,) you shall receive.

surfur2704 (9:20:50 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:21:00 PM):
surfur2704 (9:21:34 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:21:50 PM): surfur2704 (9:22:17 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:22:37 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:22:59 PM):
surfur2704 (9:23:42 PM):
SarcasticSteven (9:24:08 PM):
surfur2704 (9:25:15 PM): ?
SarcasticSteven (9:25:25 PM): nothing
surfur2704 (9:26:14 PM): i think that was milked for all it was worth
SarcasticSteven (9:26:24 PM): we got a good run out of it
SarcasticSteven (9:26:33 PM): we should be proud
surfur2704 (9:26:51 PM): well, not that good a run in comparison
SarcasticSteven (9:27:09 PM): comparison to what?
surfur2704 (9:28:04 PM): um..the bible?
SarcasticSteven (9:28:36 PM): i don’t think ray charles is in the bible
surfur2704 (9:29:02 PM): lots of things arnt
surfur2704 (9:29:07 PM): like pie for instance
surfur2704 (9:29:14 PM): there is no mention of pie in the bible
SarcasticSteven (9:29:41 PM): pie transcends the bible
SarcasticSteven (9:30:05 PM): when the first person to go to heaven went to heaven, he found that pie was already there
SarcasticSteven (9:30:09 PM): much to his delight, i might add
surfur2704 (9:30:20 PM): so pie is on equal footing with god?
surfur2704 (9:30:22 PM): so which got to heaven first, pie or god?
surfur2704 (9:30:38 PM): but if the pies in heaven, wouldnt it not be able to be eaten?
SarcasticSteven (9:30:52 PM): who says angels can’t be cannibals?
surfur2704 (9:31:22 PM): but arent u not supposed to sustain injury in heaven?
SarcasticSteven (9:31:38 PM): really?
SarcasticSteven (9:31:40 PM): wow
SarcasticSteven (9:31:51 PM): there should be a fight club in heaven

QnzFinest651 (10:37:35 PM): wats a significant lesson you’ve learned in life
SarcasticSteven (10:42:17 PM): help people out when they’re in need
SarcasticSteven (10:43:05 PM): otherwise a man who you inadvertantly sent to prison for being part of a napoleonic conspiracy is going to escape from the prison you sent him to, find a buried treasure, and totally fuck you over

MoMan myBuddy (1:10:13 PM): you need to steal some insulation this time around
SarcasticSteven (1:10:16 PM): haha
SarcasticSteven (1:10:19 PM): they were so cool
SarcasticSteven (1:10:25 PM): all squishy and soft and…
SarcasticSteven (1:10:30 PM): *ahem*
SarcasticSteven (1:10:42 PM): some of them were actually quite firm
SarcasticSteven (1:10:47 PM): dare i say supple?
SarcasticSteven (1:10:52 PM): if only they were warm too…
SarcasticSteven (1:10:57 PM): and jiggled
SarcasticSteven (1:11:07 PM): that’d be such an odd scene
SarcasticSteven (1:11:17 PM): coming in on the intern groping the insulation
SarcasticSteven (1:11:34 PM): might lead to some closet sex to keep the person’s mouth shut

MoMan myBuddy (9:02:36 PM): “Dear Steve, Life is great here, I’m sitting on the toilet, it’s kind of cold. I’m glad it’s not wet. That always sucks.”
SarcasticSteven (9:02:48 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (9:03:07 PM): “here’s something to remember me by” *dab dab*

SarcasticSteven (6:41:47 PM): home slice
TONY lN BROOKLYN (6:41:58 PM): homee fryyy
SarcasticSteven (6:42:04 PM): home…pie?
TONY lN BROOKLYN (6:42:10 PM): no, no such thing, you lose
SarcasticSteven (6:42:13 PM): *sob*

SarcasticSteven (6:19:43 PM): i asked avallone for permission to cut
ProdigalElement4 (6:19:53 PM): whatd he say?
SarcasticSteven (6:20:17 PM): he’s like “yo homez, s’long as you be gellin, we aint got no beef”
ProdigalElement4 (6:20:38 PM): rephrase
SarcasticSteven (6:20:43 PM): “ok”

ProdigalElement4 (1:14:04 AM): whatre u still doing up?
SarcasticSteven (1:14:10 AM): sex
SarcasticSteven (1:14:45 AM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (1:14:47 AM): done
SarcasticSteven (1:14:48 AM): night

dabiggestDREAMer (10:30:33 PM): all i know is, nolen, dreyfus, and price [physics teachers] all teach 1st and 2nd..
SarcasticSteven (10:31:02 PM): nolen/dreyfus sounds ideal
SarcasticSteven (10:31:15 PM): wow that looks like some weird fanfic pairing

dabiggestDREAMer (7:31:10 PM): wanna commit incest?

SarcasticSteven (9:52:07 PM): yes, you do
——————————————————————————–
Auto response from dabiggestDREAMer (9:52:08 PM): : )

need i say more?
——————————————————————————–
SarcasticSteven (9:52:32 PM): maybe not need…but it’d be nice
SarcasticSteven (9:52:46 PM): talking is always good
SarcasticSteven (9:52:49 PM): talking to yourself isn’t as good
SarcasticSteven (9:52:59 PM): but i don’t think this totally qualifies as talking to yourself
SarcasticSteven (9:53:04 PM): i mean, you’re going to read this eventually
SarcasticSteven (9:53:08 PM): so it’s fun!
SarcasticSteven (9:53:15 PM): it’s kinda like posting on a weblog
SarcasticSteven (9:53:31 PM): you know people are gonna read it, but until that happens, you’re free to shape your thoughts however you like
SarcasticSteven (9:53:45 PM): and you can say things like PENIS without people immediately chastising you
SarcasticSteven (9:54:03 PM): mmm, dominatrix action springing to mind
SarcasticSteven (9:54:23 PM): are dominatrix and bondage fetishes necessarily related?
SarcasticSteven (9:54:31 PM): i thought dominatrix was an extreme
SarcasticSteven (9:54:51 PM): like, you could assume the controlling role of bondage action without necessarily being a dominatrix
SarcasticSteven (9:55:08 PM): though i think there needs to be some bondage action for there to be dominatrix action
SarcasticSteven (9:55:13 PM): cause otherwise you aren’t really dominating
SarcasticSteven (9:55:22 PM): unless it’s a purely mental kind of domination?
SarcasticSteven (9:55:29 PM): like, force mind control shit
SarcasticSteven (9:55:32 PM): oh man
SarcasticSteven (9:55:38 PM): darth vader the dominatrix
SarcasticSteven (9:55:46 PM): or better yet, emperor palpatine
SarcasticSteven (9:55:52 PM): vader’s his little sex toy
SarcasticSteven (9:56:14 PM): obviously no oral action, cause his mask didn’t have a hole in it
SarcasticSteven (9:56:22 PM): but the back door should still be open
SarcasticSteven (9:56:37 PM): and there’s still finger stimulation, i guess
SarcasticSteven (9:56:48 PM): i wonder if palpatine took viagra
SarcasticSteven (9:56:52 PM): he seemed pretty old
SarcasticSteven (9:56:59 PM): or maybe he infused his little man with the force
SarcasticSteven (9:57:43 PM): this would top my previous rant high score, but it’s not really a rant because you’re not able to talk back
SarcasticSteven (9:57:52 PM): still…amusing
dabiggestDREAMer (9:58:02 PM): …

SarcasticSteven (9:07:11 PM): know what it’s about?
MrBlueMirage (9:08:45 PM): ummm
MrBlueMirage (9:08:46 PM): sorta
MrBlueMirage (9:08:54 PM): three sisters. one husband shot. and lemonade.
SarcasticSteven (9:09:00 PM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (9:09:08 PM): lesbian action and necrophilia
SarcasticSteven (9:09:12 PM): good enough for me

SarcasticSteven (11:01:15 PM): have your mom draft a note for you
SarcasticSteven (11:01:24 PM): “please excuse cristen. she was making pie all night long”
SarcasticSteven (11:01:46 PM): and all your teachers will solemnly nod in knowing acknowledgement

dabiggestDREAMer (10:38:22 PM): why does masturbation keep on being brought up?!?!

dabiggestDREAMer (7:10:16 PM): sperm? pfft, who needs sperm
dabiggestDREAMer (7:10:27 PM): there’s plenty of it in the world to go around
SarcasticSteven (7:10:35 PM): but not mine
SarcasticSteven (7:10:40 PM): i like my sperm
SarcasticSteven (7:10:42 PM): *wiggle wiggle*
dabiggestDREAMer (7:10:46 PM): ahaha
dabiggestDREAMer (7:10:52 PM): what has it done for you lately?? huh? huh??
dabiggestDREAMer (7:11:58 PM): it serves no purpose until you decide to have a kid..
dabiggestDREAMer (7:12:16 PM): if sperm didn’t exist, neither would contraception!!
SarcasticSteven (7:12:24 PM): NEITHER WOULD BIRTH
dabiggestDREAMer (7:12:31 PM): …oh right.

BBoyTeKniQaL (5:21:00 PM): what? did u get MORE sarcastic?
BBoyTeKniQaL (5:21:10 PM): oh, no, the world is doomed

BeingOfChaos (9:05:18 PM): There is a fashion now actually
BeingOfChaos (9:05:37 PM): people loose the queens and claim they play beter without them becasue they nolnger worry. I am still figuring it out
SarcasticSteven (9:08:42 PM): have any of them actually won?
BeingOfChaos (9:09:00 PM): Nope. Not really.

SarcasticSteven (5:02:58 PM): NIGGA PLEASE! *does the ass popping thing*

SarcasticSteven (10:12:05 PM): i was making an allusion to popping a cap in someone’s ass
SarcasticSteven (10:12:07 PM): but i shortened it
SarcasticSteven (10:12:16 PM): so i said i was just doing the ass popping thing
ProdigalElement4 (10:12:19 PM): uh huh
CCC13 (10:12:43 PM): im out this is freaking me out
CCC13 has left the room.

YoNX ZYpE has entered the room.
SarcasticSteven (10:25:42 PM): he has it in his ass
ProdigalElement4 (10:25:45 PM): wtf r u talking about?
YoNX ZYpE has left the room.

SarcasticSteven (9:57:17 PM): the bus driver was pretty nice too
DaBiggestDreamer (9:57:27 PM): really? ^_^ awesome
SarcasticSteven (9:58:12 PM): did you know him?
DaBiggestDreamer (9:59:00 PM): i dunno, i tend not to remember the bus drivers…
SarcasticSteven (10:00:37 PM): apparently he has a korean wife
SarcasticSteven (10:00:42 PM): lol and he gave me a piece of advice
SarcasticSteven (10:01:00 PM): “don’t ever cheat on her. those puerto rican girls will hunt you down.”
DaBiggestDreamer (10:01:32 PM): LOL!!!!!
DaBiggestDreamer (10:02:48 PM): my mom’s like nodding along.. she’s like yep, it’s all true..

DaBiggestDreamer (7:28:14 PM): ’twas a normal, happy day at work..
DaBiggestDreamer (7:28:17 PM): kids are so amusing..
SarcasticSteven (7:28:24 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (7:28:35 PM): anything in particular you’d like to mention?
DaBiggestDreamer (7:28:46 PM): yeah
SarcasticSteven (7:28:49 PM): people eating paste, making out, what?
SarcasticSteven (7:29:08 PM): both?
SarcasticSteven (7:29:11 PM): (eew)
DaBiggestDreamer (7:29:23 PM): LOL
DaBiggestDreamer (7:29:26 PM): this kid named steven gets a card and cupcakes for his birthday, right..
DaBiggestDreamer (7:29:48 PM): right away, he goes for the cupcakes!! then someone mentions to him that he didn’t even open the card!!
DaBiggestDreamer (7:29:50 PM): he was like,
DaBiggestDreamer (7:30:02 PM): “what? there’s a card??! *runs to it* MONEY!!”

SarcasticSteven (3:52:57 PM): woof
DaBiggestDreamer (3:53:26 PM): nyo
SarcasticSteven (3:53:39 PM): nyo?
DaBiggestDreamer (3:53:51 PM): yes, nyo
SarcasticSteven (3:53:56 PM): nyu
DaBiggestDreamer (3:54:04 PM): pyo!!!!
SarcasticSteven (3:54:22 PM): pyu
SarcasticSteven (3:54:31 PM): rawr
SarcasticSteven (3:54:34 PM): *shrug*

DaBiggestDreamer (11:08:48 PM): let’s…. make half the population sterile first >:D
SarcasticSteven (11:09:00 PM): *flinches*

DaBiggestDreamer (9:03:54 PM): yes, drunken schoolchildren, steven.. i missed the drunken elementary schoolchildren..
SarcasticSteven (9:03:59 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (9:04:16 PM): that’s when they’re at their best behavior
SarcasticSteven (9:04:20 PM): i should know!
SarcasticSteven (9:04:21 PM): somehow…
DaBiggestDreamer (9:04:23 PM): LOL
DaBiggestDreamer (9:04:31 PM): it’d be interesting to find out, actually…
SarcasticSteven (9:04:40 PM): it’d be illegal to find out

SarcasticSteven (9:25:32 PM): fuzzy wuzzy was a bear
SarcasticSteven (9:25:36 PM): fuzzy wuzzy had no hair
SarcasticSteven (9:25:41 PM): if fuzzy wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy
SarcasticSteven (9:25:44 PM): then what was he?
SarcasticSteven (9:25:47 PM): READY TO EAT
DaBiggestDreamer (9:26:08 PM): o_o

DaBiggestDreamer (10:54:21 PM): *longs for the one stick of pocky left*
DaBiggestDreamer (10:54:28 PM): damned temptations..
DaBiggestDreamer (10:54:31 PM): must..control..
SarcasticSteven (10:54:36 PM): you can have it
SarcasticSteven (10:54:39 PM): i’ll live
SarcasticSteven (10:54:48 PM): watch me die the next day
SarcasticSteven (10:54:56 PM): “asian boy dies from pocky withdrawl”

DaBiggestDreamer (9:39:56 PM): that wasn’t a knife.. >.>.. it was a penny.. *points* HEY LOOK A FLYING VIRGIN!!

SarcasticSteven (12:22:24 AM): i don’t have enough prowess for that
SarcasticSteven (12:22:28 AM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (12:22:29 AM): prowess
SarcasticSteven (12:22:31 AM): big word
DaBiggestDreamer (12:22:45 AM): 7 huge-ass letters, yep..
SarcasticSteven (12:23:00 AM): lol
SarcasticSteven (12:23:07 AM): but…it’s got…
SarcasticSteven (12:23:08 AM): umm
SarcasticSteven (12:23:14 AM): wess!
SarcasticSteven (12:23:17 AM): how often do you see that?
SarcasticSteven (12:23:21 AM): NOT VERY
SarcasticSteven (12:23:22 AM): exactly
SarcasticSteven (12:23:34 AM): *runs away before point can be refuted*
DaBiggestDreamer (12:23:37 AM): *falls over laughing* that was pathetic!!
DaBiggestDreamer (12:23:42 AM): 8 LETTERS
DaBiggestDreamer (12:23:45 AM): owned!!
SarcasticSteven (12:23:53 AM): lol
SarcasticSteven (12:24:01 AM): *huddles in a corner somewhere*
SarcasticSteven (12:24:05 AM): 9 LETTERS
SarcasticSteven (12:24:07 AM): OWNED
DaBiggestDreamer (12:24:46 AM): *throws rock*
DaBiggestDreamer (12:24:54 AM): stop turning everything i say back to me..
DaBiggestDreamer (12:24:56 AM): …
DaBiggestDreamer (12:25:00 AM): 10 letters
SarcasticSteven (12:25:03 AM): lol
SarcasticSteven (12:25:04 AM): evil!
DaBiggestDreamer (12:25:10 AM): bwahahaha!!
DaBiggestDreamer (12:25:31 AM): yea let’s see you get an 11-letter word now..
SarcasticSteven (12:25:59 AM): umm
SarcasticSteven (12:26:16 AM): DAMNIT

DaDeViLhUnTeR88 (8:55:11 PM): yo what does this quote mean to you, “Honored with an overwhelming level of critical acclaim, this truly exceptional, utterly unique achievement will lift yor spirits and capture your heart” GOOD MORNING AMERICA
DaDeViLhUnTeR88 (8:55:21 PM): its for a research project i’m doing
SarcasticSteven (8:55:44 PM): this shit is fucking cool
SarcasticSteven (8:56:04 PM): other niggers think it’s pretty hot, too
DaDeViLhUnTeR88 (8:56:10 PM): wtf
SarcasticSteven (8:56:15 PM): that’s my interpretation

SarcasticSteven (7:06:42 PM): he ensures that people get high
SarcasticSteven (7:06:47 PM): OFF KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!!
SarcasticSteven (7:06:51 PM): *WHOAAAAA*
SarcasticSteven (7:07:10 PM): it’s like sex
SarcasticSteven (7:07:16 PM): it’s always better when you do it in a group
DIslam (7:07:40 PM): lol
DIslam (7:07:44 PM): how would u know
SarcasticSteven (7:08:01 PM): because i have knowledge
SarcasticSteven (7:08:09 PM): AND KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!
SarcasticSteven (7:08:13 PM): *flies away*

DIslam (8:23:07 PM): card players??
SarcasticSteven (8:23:42 PM): yea
SarcasticSteven (8:23:54 PM): like prostitutes, but with clothes
SarcasticSteven (8:23:56 PM): and legal
SarcasticSteven (8:24:01 PM): and without the sex

DIslam (8:25:11 PM): steven…..
SarcasticSteven (8:25:37 PM): it’s pronounced esteban

DIslam (9:19:56 PM): ive never seen an asian guy dance
SarcasticSteven (9:20:05 PM): that’s because ours is a dance of death

DIslam (7:57:24 PM): u r SO weird
SarcasticSteven (7:57:37 PM): aye
SarcasticSteven (7:57:49 PM): but think of the alternative
SarcasticSteven (7:57:57 PM): i could be a bland, boring, emotionless shell of a person
SarcasticSteven (7:58:03 PM): and what fun would that be?
SarcasticSteven (7:58:06 PM): except to poke with a stick

DIslam (11:36:13 PM): so
DIslam (11:36:18 PM): who gave him the wallet
SarcasticSteven (11:36:29 PM): the candyman
SarcasticSteven (11:36:34 PM): cause he mixes it with love
SarcasticSteven (11:36:40 PM): and makes the world taste goooooood…
SarcasticSteven (11:36:45 PM): the candyman…
SarcasticSteven (11:36:48 PM): the candy man can…
DIslam (11:36:56 PM): does love contain an exchange of bodily fluids?
SarcasticSteven (11:37:39 PM): only when you’re low on blood
DIslam (11:37:53 PM): you are so special
SarcasticSteven (11:38:00 PM): you are my shining star
DIslam (11:38:03 PM): lol
DIslam (11:38:29 PM): so is he dating that chick or what
SarcasticSteven (11:38:41 PM): only until it’s fat enough to eat
SarcasticSteven (11:38:52 PM): the perdue chicken isn’t as good as the kind you raise yourself
SarcasticSteven (11:38:56 PM): with tender loving care
SarcasticSteven (11:39:00 PM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (11:39:02 PM): tender chicken
DIslam (11:39:26 PM): boy what r u on and why wont u share
SarcasticSteven (11:39:58 PM): because my mother told me never to jump off a building unless i was on crack
DIslam (11:40:10 PM): r u on crack?
DIslam (11:40:15 PM): ill help u lemme push
DIslam (11:40:16 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (11:40:19 PM): *wheeeeee*
DIslam (11:40:42 PM): u need. oxygen.
SarcasticSteven (11:40:56 PM): *wheeze*
DIslam (11:41:25 PM): so this prodigal element kid is the drug dealer?
SarcasticSteven (11:41:40 PM): only on sundays
DIslam (11:41:56 PM): what happens on other days?
SarcasticSteven (11:42:11 PM): if you knew, i’d have to kill him
DIslam (11:42:25 PM): do u know who this is?
SarcasticSteven (11:42:37 PM): only on saturdays
DIslam (11:42:53 PM): ok now this game is repeating
DIslam (11:42:55 PM): lol
DIslam (11:42:59 PM): who am i and who r u
SarcasticSteven (11:43:14 PM): ah, questions worthy of another toke on the pipe
SarcasticSteven (11:43:22 PM): *toke*
SarcasticSteven (11:43:28 PM): *wheeze*
DIslam (11:43:41 PM): ur crazier than i am
DIslam (11:43:46 PM): and i need professional help
SarcasticSteven (11:43:54 PM): only on fridays
SarcasticSteven (11:43:56 PM): wait
SarcasticSteven (11:43:59 PM): *checks calendar*
SarcasticSteven (11:44:03 PM): tuesdays
DIslam (11:44:26 PM): ur a madman!!!
SarcasticSteven (11:44:38 PM): i’m a maniac! maniac!
SarcasticSteven (11:44:43 PM): *wheeze*
DIslam (11:45:40 PM): lol
DIslam (11:45:49 PM): what time do u usually go to bed
SarcasticSteven (11:46:04 PM): whenever the dog bites
SarcasticSteven (11:46:06 PM): and the moon sings
SarcasticSteven (11:46:09 PM): when you’re feeling sad…
SarcasticSteven (11:46:14 PM): these are just some of my favorite things…

DIslam (12:03:53 AM): dewan told u im psychotic didnt he
DIslam (12:03:54 AM): lol
SarcasticSteven (12:04:02 AM): no
SarcasticSteven (12:04:03 AM): wait
SarcasticSteven (12:04:05 AM): lemme check
SarcasticSteven (12:04:11 AM): i tend to gloss over words like psychotic
SarcasticSteven (12:04:21 AM): hearing them too often dulls their importance
DIslam (12:04:27 AM): yup
DIslam (12:04:28 AM): yr right
DIslam (12:05:19 AM): my laptop is making noises
SarcasticSteven (12:05:34 AM): no, he didn’t say you were psychotic
SarcasticSteven (12:05:59 AM): in fact, he showed admirable concern for you
SarcasticSteven (12:06:28 AM): fighting off a number of ninjas as he related various anecdotes of you helping each other out
SarcasticSteven (12:06:57 AM): while i’m just there standing wide-mouthed, saying his name occasionally to show that i’m still alive and that i’m astonished, in true cliche anime style
SarcasticSteven (12:07:01 AM): of course then he died
SarcasticSteven (12:07:07 AM): which is slightly unfortunate
DIslam (12:07:39 AM): lol
DIslam (12:08:04 AM): ninjas eh?
DIslam (12:08:11 AM): so yr comng to this thing on friday
SarcasticSteven (12:08:49 AM): the thing where we rappel off of rooftops?
SarcasticSteven (12:09:00 AM): it’s quite fun, actually
SarcasticSteven (12:09:13 AM): we’re putting paint on our shoes
SarcasticSteven (12:09:23 AM): and rappelling off next to each other
SarcasticSteven (12:09:43 AM): but we’re coordinating the places we plant our feet
SarcasticSteven (12:10:02 AM): so we’re going to slowly but steadily paint an obscene picture on the wall
DIslam (12:10:19 AM): why does it have to be obscene?
SarcasticSteven (12:10:42 AM): because right after, a massive orgy is going to be held in the courtyard
SarcasticSteven (12:11:01 AM): and while there will be hot people there, they might need some further imagery to make it effective
DIslam (12:11:04 AM): can i come to videotape?
SarcasticSteven (12:11:07 AM): sure
SarcasticSteven (12:11:26 AM): you can help with the paint application, the rope tying, the videotaping, or the lovemaking
SarcasticSteven (12:11:31 AM): oh, the sweet sweet lovemaking
DIslam (12:11:45 AM): lol
DIslam (12:11:50 AM): i just want to videotape
SarcasticSteven (12:11:58 AM): sure
DIslam (12:12:08 AM): what kind of film?
SarcasticSteven (12:12:18 AM): the kind that traps people’s souls

ecargnmyst (11:22:33 PM): hows ur studying going
SarcasticSteven (11:22:56 PM): well, i have my notes splayed out in front of me, if that counts for anything
ecargnmyst (11:23:16 PM): class notes?
ecargnmyst (11:23:17 PM): >.<
SarcasticSteven (11:23:24 PM): homework notes
SarcasticSteven (11:23:28 PM): and i have the study sheet
SarcasticSteven (11:23:38 PM): with their powers combined
SarcasticSteven (11:23:41 PM): I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!
SarcasticSteven (11:23:52 PM): *background* goooo planet!

firedemon417 (8:39:28 PM): you missed it..
SarcasticSteven (8:39:52 PM): damnit, you saw the puddle, didn’t you?
SarcasticSteven (8:39:57 PM): i was meaning to clean up!
SarcasticSteven (8:40:03 PM): they just ran out of toilet paper!
firedemon417 (8:40:11 PM): no, i mean in history, but okay..
firedemon417 (8:44:23 PM):
Plafker: Nowadays, parents are giving their daughters boob jobs for graduation. Back when I was your age, girls would get nose jobs on their sweet 16.
*Class laughs*
Plafker: Yeah..you’re all looking at my nose now right? Yeah, I would too
Hector: Not exactly…
Plafker: Wait… *Puts hands over chest* NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! No plastic surgery here!
*Class bursts out laughing*
Plafker: Wow, this just got uncomfortable…(Plafker, as in Ms. Plafker, my history teacher)

HatefulFrenchy (5:37:31 PM): i thought all ur people stay home in celebrate
SarcasticSteven (5:37:39 PM): oh, there’s plenty of celebration
SarcasticSteven (5:37:41 PM): in my pants

HeadlessRoland12 (6:37:29 PM): why else would any one construct an emotionless robot?
SarcasticSteven (6:37:34 PM): for sex?

iii THEPOPE iii (10:41:42 PM): ive always wanted to sleep naked
iii THEPOPE iii (10:41:47 PM): i heard its pretty cool
SarcasticSteven (10:41:53 PM): …from who?
SarcasticSteven (10:42:00 PM): how’d that ever come up?
SarcasticSteven (10:42:16 PM): “oh man, that curve on the physics test was pretty cool.”
SarcasticSteven (10:42:21 PM): “yea. so is sleeping naked”

SarcasticSteven (10:11:18 PM): though i usually will just type CACAW
iii THEPOPE iii (10:11:20 PM): is that the noise you make before you pee?
iii THEPOPE iii (10:11:26 PM): = D
SarcasticSteven (10:11:28 PM): it’s more of a zipping sound
iii THEPOPE iii (10:11:32 PM): ok just makin sure
SarcasticSteven (10:11:38 PM): that’d be freaky, though
iii THEPOPE iii (10:11:53 PM): thatd be SO funny. id die laughing.
SarcasticSteven (10:12:00 PM): imagine standing at the urinal, when this guy walks up to you and goes “CACAW!” with his penis out

iii THEPOPE iii (8:54:31 PM): i suppose wellesley
iii THEPOPE iii (8:54:37 PM): altho im considering barnard heavily
SarcasticSteven (8:55:07 PM): what made you choose that route?
iii THEPOPE iii (8:56:02 PM): why? bc am through w/ sperms
SarcasticSteven (8:56:13 PM): even my sperm?
SarcasticSteven (8:56:20 PM): *wiggle wiggle*

iii THEPOPE iii (10:35:57 PM): do you kno anythin botu government censorship?
SarcasticSteven (10:36:37 PM): the president closes his door whenever the hot intern walks in for a reason
SarcasticSteven (10:36:40 PM): that’s censorship
SarcasticSteven (10:36:57 PM): i ought to be able to see bush banging his intern on top of the table
SarcasticSteven (10:37:15 PM): how do i know he isn’t making deals with a terrorist in a hot intern costume?
SarcasticSteven (10:37:29 PM): i demand to know! it’s my right to know!
SarcasticSteven (10:37:40 PM): DAMNIT I WANT TO SEE THAT PORN!
SarcasticSteven (10:37:42 PM): *ahem*

iii THEPOPE iii (6:24:41 PM): you like boobs? LOLs trust me i have a pt..

iii THEPOPE iii (8:29:20 PM): i always end up talkin to you when im hungry

iii THEPOPE iii (2:03:59 PM): i hate ABs
iii THEPOPE iii (2:04:05 PM): abs should be shot or somethin ahah
SarcasticSteven (2:04:08 PM): lol
iii THEPOPE iii (2:04:19 PM): selfish bitches
SarcasticSteven (2:04:22 PM): but then i’d have the most chance of surviving a blood transfusion
SarcasticSteven (2:04:35 PM): and a greater chance of me being able to use my blood to kill people
SarcasticSteven (2:05:13 PM): if i planted my blood inside their blood stream, it’d coagulate
SarcasticSteven (2:05:18 PM): and they’d diiiiiieeeeeeeee
SarcasticSteven (2:05:21 PM): painfully, too
SarcasticSteven (2:05:26 PM): but that’s only if they weren’t ab
SarcasticSteven (2:05:42 PM): so i guess i’d have to kill all abs out there
iii THEPOPE iii (2:05:46 PM): you should be like..banned from the military lols

iii THEPOPE iii (10:22:10 PM): im on my dads comp
iii THEPOPE iii (10:23:22 PM): yea cos mine is infected w….
iii THEPOPE iii (10:23:23 PM): PORN
SarcasticSteven (10:23:32 PM): it’s your fault
SarcasticSteven (10:23:42 PM): it’s like pringles
SarcasticSteven (10:23:45 PM): once you pop, you just can’t stop

JoJoDaPinguin (7:54:45 PM): heard you asked yi if he was doing anything monday
SarcasticSteven (7:54:54 PM): yea, i was planning to take him to a five star restaurant
SarcasticSteven (7:54:59 PM): followed up by some steamy sex
JoJoDaPinguin (7:55:19 PM): for valentine’s, eh?
JoJoDaPinguin (7:55:21 PM): aw you win
SarcasticSteven (7:55:34 PM): but i saw that my masculine charms weren’t getting to him
SarcasticSteven (7:55:46 PM): especially when i made thrusting motions as i mentioned sex
SarcasticSteven (7:55:57 PM): so he won’t be with me monday
JoJoDaPinguin (7:56:07 PM): haha
JoJoDaPinguin (7:56:33 PM): woohoo, he’s mine then
SarcasticSteven (7:56:42 PM): be gentle
SarcasticSteven (7:56:53 PM): unless he’s into that sort of thing
JoJoDaPinguin (7:57:30 PM): with you, maybe

SarcasticSteven (9:22:55 PM): *pokes the pillsbury doughboy again*
SarcasticSteven (9:22:57 PM): teehee
SarcasticSteven (9:23:02 PM): or was that like
SarcasticSteven (9:23:04 PM): hoohoo
JoJoDaPinguin (9:23:15 PM): isn’t yi the pillbury doughboy?
SarcasticSteven (9:23:27 PM): but he doesn’t make any sounds when i poke him
SarcasticSteven (9:23:41 PM): other than, “what the fuck are you doing?”

SarcasticSteven (2:27:16 AM): hmm
SarcasticSteven (2:27:30 AM): is your skin turning yellow(er)?
SarcasticSteven (2:27:33 AM): are you feeling queasy?
SarcasticSteven (2:27:37 AM): is blood seeping from your pores?
SarcasticSteven (2:27:45 AM): IS AN ALIEN POPPING OUT FROM YOUR BELLY?
SarcasticSteven (2:27:56 AM): if not, then you’re imagining things
SarcasticSteven (2:28:00 AM): go back to your all-nighter
SarcasticSteven (2:28:14 AM): *pat pat*

ProdigalElement4 (12:56:07 AM): u are back eh?
SarcasticSteven (12:56:14 AM): yes
SarcasticSteven (12:56:15 AM): back again
SarcasticSteven (12:56:19 AM): steven’s back
SarcasticSteven (12:56:26 AM): tell a friend and i’ll slit your throat

Laxori666 (8:18:52 PM): the jig is up, i know you’re not steven
SarcasticSteven (8:19:03 PM): *gasp*
Laxori666 (8:19:04 PM): you must be some haxxor that got into his poor account
Laxori666 (8:19:11 PM): and told all his friends that you are now at this sn
Laxori666 (8:19:15 PM): i see you duplicated his profile pretty well too
SarcasticSteven (8:19:15 PM): next you’ll claim that i’m not sarcastic
SarcasticSteven (8:19:23 PM): then what’ll i be?
SarcasticSteven (8:19:28 PM): just a poor hack
SarcasticSteven (8:19:30 PM): no pun intended

loonymel (9:21:16 PM): really like ur porn huh?
SarcasticSteven (9:21:32 PM): it’s essential

MoMan myBuddy (6:51:19 PM): haha. CASTRATION!! The only proven way to turn bad boys good.
SarcasticSteven (6:51:36 PM): and nipple shock torture
MoMan myBuddy (6:52:18 PM): ::snicker:: you sure that wouldn’t have opposite effects?
SarcasticSteven (6:52:21 PM): *smirk*
MoMan myBuddy (6:52:32 PM): ooo you are very bad, very very bad.
SarcasticSteven (6:52:34 PM): grab a boy off the street and we’ll find out…

MoMan myBuddy (5:39:30 PM): it’s so hard having a penis isn’t it.
SarcasticSteven (5:39:42 PM): yea, it is
SarcasticSteven (5:39:50 PM): i’ve always gotta be watching out for random people kicking me
SarcasticSteven (5:40:01 PM): you don’t know how vulnerable we feel
MoMan myBuddy (5:40:04 PM): lol. on account of your penis??
SarcasticSteven (5:40:07 PM): YES
MoMan myBuddy (5:40:08 PM): i didn’t realize it was so bad!
SarcasticSteven (5:40:12 PM): OH GOD YES
SarcasticSteven (5:40:14 PM): *ahem*
MoMan myBuddy (5:40:26 PM): lol
MoMan myBuddy (5:41:14 PM): You could always get it removed if it’s that bad …
SarcasticSteven (5:41:43 PM): no, it hasn’t come of age yet
SarcasticSteven (5:41:49 PM): so perhaps there’s something i’m missing out on
SarcasticSteven (5:41:57 PM): and if i had no penis, i’d definitely be missing out on it
SarcasticSteven (5:42:06 PM): whereas there’s always a small glimmer of hope as it stands
SarcasticSteven (5:42:09 PM): no pun intended
SarcasticSteven (5:42:50 PM): but enough about my cock
SarcasticSteven (5:42:52 PM): how’re you doing?

SarcasticSteven (9:52:18 PM): can you send the email then?
SarcasticSteven (9:52:26 PM): 1pm tuesday, include phone numbers
SarcasticSteven (9:52:52 PM): i would, but i don’t have the phone numbers
SarcasticSteven (9:52:58 PM): and my rectum is having spasms
MoMan myBuddy (9:54:26 PM): …. WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION STEVE
——————————————————————————–
Auto response from SarcasticSteven (9:54:26 PM): A-pooping we will go, a-pooping we will go, hi ho the derio, a-pooping we will go…
——————————————————————————–

SarcasticSteven (5:02:01 PM): in the fine print, you have to sell your firstborn to wordpress
SarcasticSteven (5:02:22 PM): but i think i have the claim to it already, so don’t worry
SarcasticSteven (5:02:31 PM): i’ll take care of that
MoMan myBuddy (5:02:51 PM): haha. good. are you sure you have first born? i thought i promised it to someone else … i hope they’re twins
SarcasticSteven (5:03:12 PM): any one will do, i suppose
MoMan myBuddy (5:03:27 PM): you’re so accomadating
SarcasticSteven (5:03:54 PM): it’s cause i’m not delivering
MoMan myBuddy (5:05:19 PM): i should make you sit with me in delivery and crush all the bones in your hand
SarcasticSteven (5:05:56 PM): are you ready for me to be exposed to that kind of nudity?
MoMan myBuddy (5:06:35 PM): oo point taken
MoMan myBuddy (5:06:39 PM): we’ll blindfold you!
SarcasticSteven (5:06:47 PM): …aww
SarcasticSteven (5:07:11 PM): people would think something really kinky was going on
SarcasticSteven (5:07:44 PM): all we’d have to do is wear leather, and poeple would freak

MoMan myBuddy (8:31:22 PM): we will overlook the rest of the times and focus solely on the more flattering moments
SarcasticSteven (8:31:34 PM): *strings them all together to make a nice happy necklace*
SarcasticSteven (8:32:04 PM): i’ve got at least five seconds worth, which is about as long as my brain will stay focused on something
SarcasticSteven (8:32:11 PM): other than porn, that is

SarcasticSteven (8:58:17 PM): my family takes care of the food
MoMan myBuddy (8:58:50 PM): and for taht we are all appreciative because if you weighed any less you could be a stunt double for those 3rd world starvation commercials
SarcasticSteven (8:59:06 PM): yea, seriously
SarcasticSteven (8:59:16 PM): i’m glad i’m not in swim gym anymore
SarcasticSteven (8:59:18 PM): it’s embarassing
MoMan myBuddy (8:59:52 PM): ::pat pat:: it could be worse
MoMan myBuddy (9:00:10 PM): you could have a viscious hard on the whole time and everyone could point and giggle
SarcasticSteven (9:00:18 PM): or stare in wonder and awe

SarcasticSteven (9:05:47 PM): we should stop talking about me fondling a random stranger’s breasts on the train during rush hour
MoMan myBuddy (9:05:50 PM): haha. would there be “happy noises?”
SarcasticSteven (9:06:00 PM): from me, at least

SarcasticSteven (9:55:44 PM): when did you call?
MoMan myBuddy (9:55:55 PM): aw. I called around 4.16
SarcasticSteven (9:55:57 PM): i wonder how many sentences with call i can make
MoMan myBuddy (9:56:12 PM): use the phrase “call girl” and I may have to hurt you

MoMan myBuddy (6:56:46 PM): yes. that was a good plan. you are a smart young lad and will go far in this world!
SarcasticSteven (6:56:56 PM): or at least until i get laid
SarcasticSteven (6:57:24 PM): then i’ll kill myself, as my mission in life has been successful
MoMan myBuddy (6:57:36 PM): no no, not until you’ve had the crazy threesome!
SarcasticSteven (6:57:42 PM): oh yea
SarcasticSteven (6:57:49 PM): there’s always the prospect of more sex
MoMan myBuddy (6:58:28 PM): yea. it’s what keeps most of us alive ’til tomorrow
MoMan myBuddy (6:58:35 PM): or would if, you know, we had sex to start with

SarcasticSteven (7:07:34 PM): but really, anybody in a bar who isn’t a pervert is packing heat and is just biding his time

NaMeeTeR (9:53:37 PM): i want to bang jay sean
NaMeeTeR (9:53:40 PM): he is SO hot
SarcasticSteven (9:53:50 PM): correct im window, right?
NaMeeTeR (9:54:01 PM): oh wait, no it isnt

SarcasticSteven (6:42:44 PM): the same thing i do every night, pinky
SarcasticSteven (6:42:49 PM): TRY TO MASTURBATE THE WORLD

SarcasticSteven (6:53:20 PM): you should try
SarcasticSteven (6:53:22 PM): and come in naked
SarcasticSteven (6:53:32 PM): with your notes scribed onto your skin
SarcasticSteven (6:53:40 PM): so he sees you playing with your cock
SarcasticSteven (6:53:45 PM): and he’s like “yi, what the fuck are you doing?”
SarcasticSteven (6:53:52 PM): and you’ll be like “i’m checking my notes”

SarcasticSteven (9:34:37 PM): think of it like this
SarcasticSteven (9:35:00 PM): you’re taking a piss
SarcasticSteven (9:35:12 PM): you’ve got a monstrous penis, so you fire it more or less in a straight line
SarcasticSteven (9:35:13 PM): now
SarcasticSteven (9:35:16 PM): bear with me
ProdigalElement4 (9:35:22 PM): rawr
SarcasticSteven (9:35:25 PM): you’re feeling antsy
SarcasticSteven (9:35:34 PM): so you start jumping up and down as you water your toilet bowl
SarcasticSteven (9:35:46 PM): that movement is perpendicular to the piss
SarcasticSteven (9:35:53 PM): that’s a transverse wave being formed
SarcasticSteven (9:35:55 PM): however
SarcasticSteven (9:36:04 PM): you then feel the urge to practice some basic sex motions
SarcasticSteven (9:36:12 PM): so you start thrusting back and forth, quagmire style
SarcasticSteven (9:36:22 PM): that movement is in the same direction as the piss
SarcasticSteven (9:36:28 PM): that’s a longitudinal wave being formed
SarcasticSteven (9:36:56 PM): makes sense?
ProdigalElement4 (9:38:11 PM): yep
ProdigalElement4 (9:38:13 PM): hehe
ProdigalElement4 (9:38:22 PM): u make learning fun, quagmire style
SarcasticSteven (9:38:24 PM): i like unorthadox explanations
SarcasticSteven (9:38:32 PM): but i can’t ever be a teacher
SarcasticSteven (9:38:39 PM): i’d be fired once i started making thrusting motions

ProdigalElement4 (9:56:19 PM): if ur taking on a badass like blade
ProdigalElement4 (9:56:26 PM): y would u fight him one on one?
ProdigalElement4 (9:56:33 PM): y not mob him if uve got the man power?
SarcasticSteven (9:57:10 PM): because you want that ass all for yourself

ProdigalElement4 (10:10:49 PM): make some obscene noise or commetn
SarcasticSteven (10:10:52 PM): umm
SarcasticSteven (10:10:59 PM): boogabooga?
ProdigalElement4 (10:11:05 PM): keep going
SarcasticSteven (10:11:16 PM): boogabooga?
ProdigalElement4 (10:11:22 PM): change it
SarcasticSteven (10:11:34 PM): i did
SarcasticSteven (10:11:36 PM): it’s backwards
SarcasticSteven (10:11:41 PM): not boogabooga
SarcasticSteven (10:11:43 PM): but boogabooga
ProdigalElement4 (10:11:49 PM): wtf?
ProdigalElement4 (10:11:53 PM): its not backwards….
SarcasticSteven (10:12:00 PM): like
SarcasticSteven (10:12:03 PM): you could have yili
SarcasticSteven (10:12:05 PM): or liyi
SarcasticSteven (10:12:11 PM): it’s boogabooga
SarcasticSteven (10:12:13 PM): or boogabooga
ProdigalElement4 (10:12:14 PM): oh, i thought u meant
ProdigalElement4 (10:12:19 PM): agoobagoob
SarcasticSteven (10:12:27 PM): HAH! NOW WHO’S THE IDIOT!
SarcasticSteven (10:12:37 PM): agoobagoob…seriously…
ProdigalElement4 (10:12:53 PM): this is like talking to smarterchild

ProdigalElement4 (11:55:50 PM): powell is like a rocket laucher
ProdigalElement4 (11:56:15 PM): he can wear his wife like a glove
SarcasticSteven (11:56:32 PM): he could probably kill her with enough force
SarcasticSteven (11:57:20 PM): i can read the headlines now
SarcasticSteven (11:57:30 PM): “man stabs wife in heart with penis through vagina”

SarcasticSteven (11:57:47 PM): i think one of my friend’s english teachers actually marked down grades whenever he saw a particularly bad literary device
SarcasticSteven (11:57:52 PM): so one kid ended up with a k-

ProdigalElement4 (4:03:39 PM): hey
ProdigalElement4 (4:03:39 PM): what happened in comp and physics?
SarcasticSteven (4:03:52 PM): there was wild raunchy sex
SarcasticSteven (4:05:10 PM): and the physics test was moved to next week
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:16 PM): REALLY??
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:21 PM): next week????
SarcasticSteven (4:05:34 PM): yep
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:37 PM): AWESOME
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:44 PM): its blowing my mind
ProdigalElement4 (4:05:55 PM): im like jskdfhljkndsjkvnkjclxvuyhjfhtgjnmvbljka
SarcasticSteven (4:05:57 PM): and imagine if you were having an orgasm at the same time
SarcasticSteven (4:06:02 PM): that’s how it was like in class today
SarcasticSteven (4:06:05 PM): and you missed it

SarcasticSteven (9:33:33 PM): i’m not even a fairy anymore
SarcasticSteven (9:33:38 PM): i’m like
SarcasticSteven (9:33:51 PM): snoopy
ProdigalElement4 (9:34:58 PM): nah, u can be the fairy queen
SarcasticSteven (9:35:08 PM): wooo
SarcasticSteven (9:35:19 PM): i wanna be a slutty fairy queen

QnzFinest651 (10:52:07 PM): who knew i could talk that long to a girl
SarcasticSteven (10:52:25 PM): are you getting sex out of it?
QnzFinest651 (10:53:20 PM): nah
SarcasticSteven (10:53:56 PM): darn
SarcasticSteven (10:54:00 PM): can i get some sex out of it?
SarcasticSteven (10:54:10 PM): just say “i know this really buff asian dude with a huge cock”
QnzFinest651 (10:56:07 PM): lol
QnzFinest651 (10:56:15 PM): one of the 7 wonders of the world
QnzFinest651 (10:56:18 PM): an asian w/ a big cock
QnzFinest651 (10:56:33 PM): and i found it

QnzFinest651 (6:07:20 PM): ur a very wise one indeed
SarcasticSteven (6:07:31 PM): so i’m a big buff wise asian guy with a huge cock now

QnzFinest651 (10:52:04 PM): no, im going to be like, “yumeris, want penis?”
SarcasticSteven (10:52:35 PM): and she’ll be like “oh man, brian, i’ve been dying to have your cock ever since 8th grade”
SarcasticSteven (10:52:54 PM): then she whips out a katana and slices your dick off
SarcasticSteven (10:53:05 PM): “NOW IT’S MINE!”

QnzFinest651 (10:51:07 PM): i luv u
QnzFinest651 (10:51:09 PM): u luv me
QnzFinest651 (10:51:15 PM): we’re a happy fam-i-ly
SarcasticSteven (10:51:16 PM): with a great big hug
SarcasticSteven (10:51:19 PM): and a kiss from me to you
SarcasticSteven (10:51:29 PM): won’t you say you’d assfuck me too?
SarcasticSteven (10:51:34 PM): *bestiality!*

SarcasticSteven (11:33:12 PM): so just go there and ask questions
SarcasticSteven (11:33:15 PM): are there lots of hot chicks?
SarcasticSteven (11:33:17 PM): YES
SarcasticSteven (11:33:21 PM): can i bang them now?
SarcasticSteven (11:33:24 PM): DO YOU HAVE MONEY?
SarcasticSteven (11:33:26 PM): no.
SarcasticSteven (11:33:38 PM): TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH

SarcasticSteven (7:29:17 PM): “oh my god, look at those shoes! bang me now!”

SarcasticSteven (6:00:49 PM): it wouldn’t come out
SarcasticSteven (6:00:51 PM): i was like
SarcasticSteven (6:00:54 PM): ARRRRRGGHHHH
SarcasticSteven (6:00:56 PM): but no deal
SarcasticSteven (6:00:59 PM): it’s fine now

QnzFinest651 (1:51:43 PM): imperialism
SarcasticSteven (1:53:07 PM): imperialism: europeans came to china, got them stoned, the fucked them and took their shit
QnzFinest651 (1:53:23 PM): lol
QnzFinest651 (1:53:26 PM): this is u.s. history
SarcasticSteven (1:53:29 PM): oh

SarcasticSteven (6:16:43 PM): the teacher wants you to make those connections
SarcasticSteven (6:16:53 PM): don’t just say “the chick is hot”
SarcasticSteven (6:17:02 PM): say “the chick is hot, which is why i want to bang her”
SarcasticSteven (6:17:47 PM): while it may be assumed that some banging would be going on if you were horny and she was hot, you can make a much more emotional submission if you make it an essay
SarcasticSteven (6:18:37 PM): the reader should be able to figure out what’s what if you’ve done a good job with it
SarcasticSteven (6:18:48 PM): and it makes for a more sophisticated paper
SarcasticSteven (6:19:59 PM): instead of a current events article with Who? a hot chick What? sex Where? under the slide in the playground, you could say “There was a hot chick who i banged under the slide in the playground”
SarcasticSteven (6:20:27 PM): though a current events article about your sexual exploits would be kinda odd
QnzFinest651 (6:20:31 PM): lol
SarcasticSteven (6:20:36 PM): and you’d probably be writing it from juvie

surfur2704 (8:40:14 PM): buff AND beautiful?
surfur2704 (8:40:18 PM): thats like, jesus as a girl

surfur2704 (10:33:13 PM): u kno its all a scam
SarcasticSteven (10:33:18 PM): yea
SarcasticSteven (10:33:58 PM): but just a small payment of 800 dollars in unmarked, small demonimation bills could bring my love to me!
SarcasticSteven (10:34:04 PM): SAAAASSSSHAAAAA!!!!!!

TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:49:13 PM): i have a 40 year old niece
SarcasticSteven (8:49:39 PM): i have a penis
SarcasticSteven (8:49:41 PM): now we’re even

BeingOfChaos (7:40:10 PM): like, you can have a class Archer
BeingOfChaos (7:40:14 PM): who can have a method of shooting
BeingOfChaos (7:40:23 PM): and be a subclass of fighter who is a subclass of person
BeingOfChaos (7:40:29 PM): and have a subclass of lOngbowman
BeingOfChaos (7:40:49 PM): and in your final class called game youc an cretae the classa rcher and tell it shoto
BeingOfChaos (7:41:02 PM): andin order too runit you put void main in 0one of your classes and that runs
TactOps88 (7:41:05 PM):
http://www.kenn.com/play/funny/pancake_bunny.jpg

Bunnijunkie (10:42:22 PM): “Steven, you are an amazing writer and cheerleader, your ideas brighten up the day”

Coors lite v2003 (10:54:16 PM): lemme ask friend
Coors lite v2003 is away at 10:58:13 PM.
TactOps88 (11:20:20 PM): well? what did the friend say about the global sheet?
——————————————————————————–
Auto response from Coors lite v2003 (11:20:21 PM): ugh…took me til sunday nite to realize i have $|-|it loads of hw….long nite ahead.
——————————————————————————–
TactOps88 (11:31:49 PM): come baaaaack
TactOps88 (11:32:13 PM): for future reference, i usually keep the sound on when i’m away
TactOps88 (11:32:28 PM): just in case someone is dying and needs me to call 911 for them, i won’t be condemning them to DEATH
TactOps88 (11:32:45 PM): death, you hear me? D E A T H
TactOps88 (11:33:03 PM): if you’re reading this late at night…sweet dreams
Coors lite v2003 returned at 11:33:32 PM.

Phalanx646 (10:55:39 PM): ok Ben had a hugeass crush on shishi wang
Phalanx646 (10:55:47 PM): and dreamt about her breasts every nite
TactOps88 (10:56:14 PM): considering there’s a fairly large portion of females in this chatroom, maybe we should change topics
chikknluvr (10:56:21 PM): yes
howslife49 (10:56:22 PM): yea
bridget WTF (10:56:25 PM): yessir
DINO5551 (10:56:27 PM): yup
Sciencegirl159 (10:56:34 PM): i agree
JaDePh0eNiX (10:56:38 PM): yep

TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:15:36 PM): once jr year is over am sooo going back to a job
SarcasticSteven (8:15:45 PM): back to a job?
SarcasticSteven (8:15:49 PM): which one did you have?
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:34 PM): for ..mad $$ lols
SarcasticSteven (8:17:40 PM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (8:17:44 PM): money…
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:46 PM): but i did two kids at once
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:49 PM): so i deserved it
What a difference a single line can make.
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:15:36 PM): once jr year is over am sooo going back to a job
SarcasticSteven (8:15:45 PM): back to a job?
SarcasticSteven (8:15:49 PM): which one did you have?
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:30 PM): lols i tutored
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:34 PM): for ..mad $$ lols
SarcasticSteven (8:17:40 PM): mmm
SarcasticSteven (8:17:44 PM): money…
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:46 PM): but i did two kids at once
TONY lN BROOKLYN (8:17:49 PM): so i deserved it

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